The Truth vs Your Insecurities

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Truth is all people are insecure about something,

With or without love the heart is never satisfied,

Buying that thing you always wanted is going to be replaced,

Hurt feelings can be apologized for but you'll always end up crying,

That great touch you receive from a person who just doesn't quite get your affection,

Conversations that seemed so real only to find out that your words were ignored,

Going to all these different places to meet new people when deep inside he/she is RIGHT THERE,

Hiding the real YOU because you're frightened of what people may think,

Smiling when you really want to be !SHOUTING!,

Gaining friendships with people whom you don't share anything with to avoid loneliness,

Seeking advice from friends when you already know the obvious answer,

Saying things that are lies only to be uncovered to save their hurt,

Reaching for that promotion and getting it but then AGAIN bored,

Having all the money in the world but taking it for granted by not giving back,

Abusing and mistreating your children when you're the only one they trust and know,

This world can be somewhat distraught where I'm at but while you're here give it all YOU really got!!! 

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-At Times, I'm Crazy-

"I know at times I can be difficult, I realize at times I can be stubborn, I hope at times I can be stable, I wonder at times if I give you what you truly need, I hope at times if I give you what your heart desires, I think at times if I give you enough of me, I joke at times if you weren't here, I hate at times if you really left me, I laugh at times if you had ever tried to replace me, I lose faith at times if you had ignored me, I begin to pray at times if you had doubted me, I cry at times when you're not looking, I push harder at times when I see your smile, I fight at times when weakness takes over, I would kill at times for anyone who hurts you, I reach at times for anyone who may be holding their hand out, I look around at times to friends for advice, I took at times you for granted, I blamed at times you for everything, I left at times you for your behavior, all and all I know I'm crazy but will you take me forever and ever??" ;) ;) ;) ;)
~XOXO

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SPEAKING OF A WOMAN

She has a tough shell like a turtle...
Capable of many things, she can console you, ruin you, control you, confuse you, love you, build you...
She has the strength to care for a family alone...
the faith to keep holding on when all is lost...
the power to make all feeling in your body go numb...
She can have you forgetting anyone else ever existed...
morning noon & night, she runs through your mind...
her talent leaves you mesmerized...
she can take you on a high and then leave you dry in a matter of seconds...
the wisdom to know what's wrong & right...
the experience to never relive the same wrongs...
the survival skills to overpower struggle...
the touch to have you feeling anxious...
The scent of a thousand roses that leaves you lingering...
A woman is without a question, confusing...

I AM A BROKEN PUZZLE AND I LOVE IT..
IT'S CALLED BEING A WOMAN!!!  ;) 

"OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT THAT WE ARE INADEQUATE.
OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS THAT WE ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE.
IT IS OUR LIGHT, NOT OUR DARKNESS, THAT MOST FRIGHTENS US." 
-Marianne Williamson

Round & Round

Sometimes life can be difficult, you can love someone so much but why keep torturing yourself with regret. Back and forth, forgive and forget, lies and deceit, breaks up and make ups. We just keep going, round and round with this "THING". How far can patience really go? If you really love me you would meet 1/2 way, but all you continue to do is forsake me. Now has come the time to explore my inner beauty. All my life, I've thought of others, all my life I've looked after someone else, always giving and never receiving. The plan GOD has set out for "YOU" doesn't mean that along the way you have to try and make someone else "fit in your puzzle". You can't make someone feel your energy, when that's not in them to understand. In the midst of it all, I lost direction of ME, this life doesn't always let you bring people that you want on your path. Sometimes, you have to just let people go even when you'd rather avoid the hurt. I find myself always chasing you, but who is going to chase me? Who is going to be there when I'm down and out? I can't always be this STRONG! Round and round,two people with different outlooks on life, two people with different goals, two people with different principles. My heart is so big that I find myself always being nice to someone who doesn't appreciate my efforts. My future is too important and precious to me to keep letting you drag me, round and round!!


"AS WE ADVANCE IN LIFE IT BECOMES MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT, BUT IN FIGHTING THE DIFFICULTIES THE INMOST STRENGTH OF THE HEART IS DEVELOPED." VINCENT VAN GOGH

"Time has Flaws & Confusion"

I remember the sweet moments we once shared and how no man ever compared,

But somehow those promises and our visions never actually aired,

We were just teenagers when it all happened so our sight was a bit impaired,

Was it all a dream or were you just scared?

Because what we had could not have been despaired,

just because you were not prepared,

or was it that you never really cared?

I sit and think about our hardships and what all we've been through,

Pondering and reminiscing makes me blue,

because I really missed and loved you.

But I'm finally realizing that all along I was just your fool, 

How could you say these things and then throw me out like an old shoe?

I did all I could to prove myself to you but it was never enough for your view,

So why should I even keep looking to make us a perfect two,

You knew my secrets and I knew yours,

But at the end of the day you made me feel like one of your chores, 

All I wanted was for you to know that I could be everything you're looking for,

I can't keep going through this because my mind is at war,

And I deserve someone who will give me the grand love tour,

I won't continue to allow you to use me as a detour,

So this is me saying, "I'm finally closing this door!!"  

"Rising Tide"

The warm sensation from his skin and hands,

taking my mind to the promised land,

his touch makes its way to caress my spine,

while I feel him on my behind,

the aroma of the air between us,

 and how my nerves begin to fuss, 

his expression always gives me a high,

as he takes the path to my navel then the tender kissing of my thigh,

the jerking and pulling of the sheets,

the drenched feel of my hair as my heart begins to beat,

in the moment I let him be the guide,

thinking in my head how can this person make my body cry,

I straddle myself to prepare my drive,

but the way my leg begins to jolt disturbs my stride,

somehow my whole body becomes numb,

and my mind cannot bear what is about to come,

as I feel the intensity become stronger,

I realize I can't put up a fight against this hunger,

This is something that I cannot deny, 

that only he can make me rise to such a high tide.

"A Glimpse of Heaven"

The smell of my daughter's skin,

the width of my son's grin,

the sensation of the morning dew,

the time that we've spend that I loved too,

the childhood friends which make us two peas in a pod,

the prayers I've sent to God ,

the jokes my dad tells,

the boyfriend whom never fails,

the embraces from my loving mother ,

the arrival of a letter from a confined brother,

the helping hand I give,

the sight of hope to live,

the taste of home cook meals,

the start of a new year to make new deals,

the extra day God grants me,

the simple opportunity to see,

this is a GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN to be....!!!!